


A Future in Need of Repair

by xConstellationxLoverx



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Aoi MAY end up having an Ignis, Canon-Typical Violence, Lost children, Main character centric, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Platonic Relationships, Somewhat a character study, TW: suicidal thoughts, Update Characters as we go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-05-24 18:06:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14959469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xConstellationxLoverx/pseuds/xConstellationxLoverx
Summary: Lost Children AU: Rescue never arrives, but instead Yusaku discovers the worse and best in those around him because of it. Thankfully, things just seem to fall into place anyway.Yasuku-centric story. Pairings are only what you make them. Cross-posted on FF.net





	1. Chapter 1

Thanks for checking my book out, it is the first I have written in several years. This is an AU of Yu-gi-oh! Vrains in which our protagonist’s rescue is a failure. Definitely Yusaku centric with heavy emotional tones. I’m giving a mild Trigger Warning for suicidal thoughts and prolonged canon level child torture just to be safe. Any OOC actions I would like to consider as a product of a difference in situation from canon. I hope you will enjoy it!

 

~ = ~

When Yusaku woke up it wasn’t to chirping birds and morning light. It was more like the floor was shifting and his stomach wanted to make an appearance on said floor. Trying to pull his hands under him didn’t go as planned either, if his face smacking into his forearm was any indication. Yusaku dragged his head into an upright position in hopes of finding something familiar. Finally cracking open his crusty eyes - he instantly regretted it. Only slate gray walls stood towering in front of him. Tears welled up in his eyes as he tried to pull together a strong, cohesive thought. How had he gotten here? Where was he? His parents? Tears poured over onto his cheeks. For a time he wept with shaking sobs, laying against the concrete floor. Even with his fluffy jacket the chill inevitably crept into his bones. He wanted someone to comfort him and tell him what was going on. When Yusaku ran out of tears and was exhausted, he was at least granted part of that wish.

The robotic voice was startling and had the young boy popping up onto his knees before his weight shifted him onto his backside.

“Yusaku Fujiki, welcome to your new home.” The voice did not pause at an immediate sound of confusion produced by the little boy’s lips. “This is the beginning of the glorious new Hanoi project. Your participation was specially chosen. You should be honored.”

There was a moment of silence before the noise exploded out of him. “What? No! Haoi? I want to go home! Take me home!” Yusaku yelled swaying to his feet, sleeves rubbing against the dry tears that were starting to itch. Searching around him he saw no door. Only a pair of (goggles? Glasses? He had never seen anything like it) sitting on the floor. Terror and sadness curled up in the pit of his stomach. He felt sick as he stumbled over to the wall. He frantically looked for anything that wasn’t a blank flat surface. 

His voice quavered. “I want my parents… please? Let me go home?”

The voice moved on as if it could have expected this or didn’t care. “Hanoi,” he corrected. “And I won’t go into detail, because it really doesn’t matter for you. Just know that everything in your new life depends strictly on dueling. Your only goal should be to become as strong as possible. For this reason your whole future will be determined from whether you win your duels or not!” The voice paused as if reining in its excitement. “If needed you may ask for a one-time explanation of how to play. The rest will be up to you to learn.”

At this point Yusaku slid down on his knees facing the wall. Numb and so many other emotion whirled in him to the point he had felt like passing out. He wasn’t prepared to ever deal with this type of situation, who would have been? He breathed harshly until he remembered words that skidded across his mind.

“It’s okay to be scared. But you will only ever remain afraid until you take the first step forward into the unknown. Don’t be a prisoner to your fears, Yusaku!”

Who had said that to him? He couldn’t think clearly but it was true, he couldn’t just remain clutching the wall like a lifeline. He had to do everything in his power to survive, to escape.

Yusaku had started learning how to play and duel monsters a couple of months after his fourth birthday but he hadn’t really showed much serious interest until his fifth birthday had come around. So while he was kinda familiar with how things went he agreed to the voice.

“Okay, teach me…” Anything not to be left alone in this place.

~ = ~

It was probably (Yusaku was just guessing here, it's not like he has a clock.) the second day when Yusuku got angry. He'd had all the time in the world to cry and be lonely and now he was hungry, needed to use the toilet, and realizing that he wasn’t going anywhere soon. Yelling at the silent room for the last twenty minutes hadn’t been working and he was refusing to touch the strange contraption lying on the floor. No matter how curious he was about the ‘VRDG’, (Virtual Reality Duel Gazer - or duel goggles as he is calling them in his head, because they didn’t need some fancy name to make him want to break them any more than he already does.) he had been hoping they would find him lacking motivation and let him go. 

Yusaku had been holding out pretty well for a not usually stubborn child. But his stomach was hurting and he was starting to consider praying that a toilet would magically appear for him to use.

“Would it hurt to let me out of here to at least pee?!” His frustration was really making it hard to focus on anything else. Eyeing those damn goggles once more he knew what he had to do. Groaning and grinding his lip in his teeth he cautiously crossed over to the tech. The voice had explained that he had to ask for something and then duel to receive it. He hadn’t thought they would be so serious, but it was becoming evident they wouldn’t listen otherwise.

Clutching the gear in hands he spoke up, “ I want to go to the bathroom and eat something.” Pulling on the headset he dragged in a surprise breath when his vision waived for a second and he saw a duel field materialize before him.

-

Yusaku barely scraped a win out. 100 Hp left and lucky to have draw and be able to use a quick-play spell on the very last turn. It hadn’t been pretty but it had earned him a bucket (that came from the floor if he had been watching) that he had been about to refuse for all of two seconds before he couldn’t wait anymore, walking away from it in disgust and not connecting the dots that it appeared out of nowhere. He felt like he was starving at this point and was about to comment when a section slid open in the top of the wall and out came a flying tray. He would have been scared if he wasn’t so tired and worried about falling over. Yusaku trudged over to the tray as it rested down upon the floor. A cup of water, something that looked like porridge with solid pieces floating in it and hard bread roll.

“At least it's hot…” he wanted to investigate the opening that had shut but he couldn’t resist food in front of his clenching stomach. He sat down and grabbed the bread and bit down. He scrunched his nose as he had to wiggle and clamp his teeth to get it to tear. “But still awful.” Yusuke grabbed the hot bowl intending to drink it, but it hurt to hold for too long. Spying a fork and spoon lying in a cloth he instead ate it with utensils. He stuffed the fork into his jacket and left everything else on the tray as he retreated to the other side of the room for a nap. Dueling in such a condition had taken just about everything out of him. His eyes closed without his permission.

When Yusaku woke up the tray was still there. As if refusing to leave without all of its pieces. Pulling himself to his feet and dragging his hand along the wall he traced the room and looked for anymore openings. Even the wall he knew opened looked flat and unblemished. Getting angry Yusaku gabbed the plastic fork from before from his pocket and snapped it in half. Throwing it back at the tray hoping it would move. As if pleased to be reunited with all of its friends the tray quicked lifted out of his small reach and back through the disappearing gap. At least Yusuke could confirm the hole was there but as soon as it sealed it once more vanished. Realizing he had lost his fork and protection he groaned and tugged off his jacket. He threw it on the floor and curled up on it, trying to think about home.

~ = ~

Day three was an eye opener in a literal sense. The blaring constant light was starting to really grate on his nerves. He never knew the time and was having trouble resting. He missed his parents and friends, and contact and voices and why was everything so damn quiet in here?! Yusaku hadn’t noticed until then and now it was kinda freaking him out. The only thing he had heard since yesterday was himself and sound effects during the duel. He hummed briefly before stopping, he should have had the water cup when he had the chance. He barely weighed his choices before he was up and retrieving the device he would have to rely on. Stating his wish for water and pulling the goggles on he relaxed as noise once more was registered.

-

Yusaku screamed, he was sure he was dying, melting, ears ringing, not breathing, did he mention dying? Every nerve was on fire and pain, pain, pain, and then it stopped. Only really it didn’t but he wasn’t being electrified anymore. Gasping hurt, breathing hurt, he was getting the impression that he was shaking but not really feeling anything but aftershocks right now. He had known it could be a possibility, the robotic voice had skittered over the fact that losing could cause pain. But he hadn’t fully believed it or understood the consequences until he had lost. 

If yesterday had been a lucky win, today had been its karmic balance. He had missed a small flip effect because it hadn’t originally been set face down due to a special summon. Tears and pitiful gulping sounds were the only thing coming from his curled, tight body. He didn’t want to go through that again, he didn’t want to be here for this stupid ‘project’. His wanted his mom to hold him against her chest and rub his back while his dad held him steady by the shoulder and told him to be strong, how to fix whatever his problem was. He got neither of those things as he finally fell into a fitful sleep knowing they wouldn’t be letting him go.


	2. Chapter One

It hurt, just like it seemed to always hurt since he had first been brought here. Spasms raced through his muscles as he tried not to cry. Yusaku clenched his small fist hoping to alleviate some of the pain. After being here for at least five months - he had started scratching lines in the wall the first day he gained eating utensils again - but he guessed it was more (in reality it had been half a year and the case had been marked cold). He was tried, sore and had given up begging to go home. Yusaku barely remembered what home was anymore. Brief flashes of warm hands holding his, soft blankets that swathed his whole body as he slept, and blurry faces that he so desperately wanted to hang onto and forget at the same time. 

This place was nothing like any of that. Everything depended on winning in this tiny room. The first month had been the worst from what he could remember. Trying to block those thoughts out, he lay on the hard floor and instead focused on slow his breathing from the harsh grunts and pants it had been. Nails pressed into palms as one last convulsion went through him.

Three things. Think of three reasons, just like that voice had told him two weeks ago, think of three reasons not to just forget every day he had been here, and the memories of a past that hurt him every time they came up. Three reasons that he would be okay, because the voice had told him the project was ending soon.

One. He had parents, or a least people in his life that loved him enough that they would be searching for him.

Two. He had to remember every single thing he could so he that he was able to repeat it upon his rescue. Something to condemn this horrible project.

Three. He was turning six soon - or so they told him - and he never wanted to have to rely on that awful, dreaded robotic voice to ever tell him basic information he should remember all by himself.

Because as delirious as he had been all the time at first from pain and hunger, Yusaku hadn’t given up complete hope. Early on he had lost a lot more than he had won, forcing him to quickly pick up things here and there in fear of being shocked again. For a while he could even win about as many times as he lost, maybe even a little more. He had been realizing that the duels were getting harder as time went by but today had been a huge jump he wasn’t expecting. 

A fluttering reached his ears as he finally sat up and looked at a tray settling on the ground. Bread and apple juice it was today then, they must have been feeling kind or hoping to get him to ask more questions like the one that led to this predicament in the first place. He reminisced as he torn his bread apart to eat. Crust too dry on his throat he moved on. Biting into the slightly mushy apple, Yusaku cringed. He quickly swallowed and threw his hand to his mouth as he coughed. It had been a dumb question in the first place. 

What was the weather like outside?

Yusaku wanted to know so badly, he was beginning to forget what sun and rain felt like on his skin. The problem was that he discovered that you could ask for anything in here, provided it followed the rule of no usable outside information. No questions about people, your past, or the project. And you could have it almost no matter what, but only if you won a duel that was worth the price of whatever you asked for. Apparently knowing even something that insignificant was hard to duel for.

Tossing a empty juice box, Yusaku walked back over to the wall where he watched as the tray flew back upwards and away. He wished that he too could fly away from here. As he curled up on the floor with his back against the corner he begged anybody listening that he wouldn’t have nightmares about losing that night.

 

~ = ~

 

Yusaku was excited, proud, and firmly ignoring every piece of him that was breaking inside. He had counted, and spent hours on his knees each day scraping out tallies just for this. He knew he was seven today. Nobody had to say a thing and he wouldn’t let any voice take that away from him. Only now he was seven and had spent months in the same small bare room dueling anytime he wanted something and enduring different forms of punishment sometimes because apparently electric shocks could kill people in overdose. Sometimes it had been no food or water or both. Other times it had been too cold or never turning off the lights or never turning them on. Yusaku had been understandably angry when that one popped up seeing as he had dueled multiple times to win for the ability to finally get them to turn on and off.

He didn’t even want to mention the small corner of his mind that screamed he was betrayed. No matter what he would firmly treasure the voice that had spoken to him. A real human who had given him advice, a way to protect himself from always being overwhelmed. However, today he was seven and there would be no rescue coming. Yusaku had really tried to hold out against giving into anything the Hanoi project wanted. A voice over the speaker had informed him earlier when he got up that he was expected to duel at least once a day without a request for ‘informational’ purposes.

Even though it was his birthday he was not going to ask for cake. Certainly wasn’t even going to imagine how they would work out a party if he even could win. However most importantly, he would never ask for presents. The cost for those kinds of things, the difficulty of those duels left him aborting even thoughts about them. Besides, those were the only things he could remember about birthdays from his young age. No need to taint ghostly sensations of happiness he associated with them. Instead he planned to ask for a single meal he planned to stretch throughout the day. Complete his new ‘daily’ duel and relish in the fact that they couldn’t touch him for the rest of the day. And if he cried, hugging his jacket in the dark, it was nobody's business but his own.

-

A couple of weeks passed, and Yusaku was resting when a thought occurred to him. He wanted a bed, a real one and a blanket that wrapped around him just like in his memories. He may not have remembered people, or more than vague ideas of places but he knew what went in a house. And whether he liked it or not, this ‘room’, cage, area, was assigned to Yusaku Fujiki, so it was his. His space that nobody ever came to, so it couldn’t belong to anyone else in his mind. Yusaku knew he could ask for anything, but he also knew that cost. He had to wonder over what type of things will serve as a bed without the big word itself making the task all the harder. He was willing to work his way up to the real thing but for now he wasn’t sure he wanted to be punished for his wishes today.

Rolling over and sitting up, Yusaku reached for the Goggles abandoned on the floor after his daily duel the day before. He closed his eyes and hoped he wasn’t making a mistake. As he pulled the gadget over his head, he almost whispered, “I want a futon and pillow,” the last bit slipping out as he sighed in hope and regret.

-

The duel had been hard against a ‘Helixx’ deck. He had been scared when it began, having trouble keeping up in fire power until mid-match. Though, when he got his ace monster out, he had begun winning pretty convincingly. The duel had him feeling elated enough to jump right into another one with a stocked bathroom on the line. It was reckless and back-to-back heavy duels were something he avoided but when he won again, he dared not push his luck. He was excited, and actually smiled for the first time since he turned seven.

He thoroughly enjoyed his real shower for the first time since coming here. It was hot and not just a rag and bucket full of water. So when the water turned off he was stunned but accepted it because he had stopped liking the cold once they implemented freezing as an effect of losing. When he came out of the small 4x4 room with a simple sink, toilet and shower he is excited to see white in his room. He heard the door close behind him, but he couldn’t care less. Eagerness and pride welled out from Yusaku as he dove into his new bed. He earned it and it was only his.

 

~ = ~

 

When Yusaku was just turning eight things were okay. Not horrible but not really good either. The things he could win were nice, but it was impossible to have the things he really desired. He had a neat and tidy little room he had built up over the year consisting of a bed, dresser, and a fake plant next to his VRDG goggles that called a tiny table and chair home. Yusaku wouldn’t ever tell a soul, even if he could, that he liked his little plant the most out of everything he had ever won.

At first it had been the futon that he had adored and never wanted to leave so much that he had a bed sore from only getting up to use the bathroom. The addition of a blanket that was an actual blanket and not some rag the next week hadn’t helped.

Then the plant had come. He had bargained with doing an extra duel a day and agreed to winning a series of duels with penalties for the tiny pot and seedling that could fit into his hands. Ironically he had been so enraptured the first day that he had gotten a blackout punishment when they had to remind him to do his first daily duel. Since then he had been sure to duel at least once before he looked at it each day.  Even after he earned other things, very little seemed to hold the same importance as a reminder that things were green outside these four walls.

-

When Yusaku Fujiki was a few months past eight he wanted to disappear, wished to be swallowed by one of the not-so-towering anymore gray walls. If it hadn’t been for his own voice, he thought he might have forgotten what real people talking sounded like. He had asked for music in the past and spectacularly lost that duel. According to his own logic, anything that could serve as a distraction from the now twice a day enforced duels and constantly encouraged free dueling was almost impossible to get. After all, those duels were purposefully handicapped to his disadvantage by a half the usual starting life points.

This was probably why Yusaku was so surprised and unsure when a book of sorts was settled under his meal one evening. He hadn't asked for anything, and certainly hadn't dueled for anything extra. Debating over whether he would get in trouble for taking something that wasn’t dueled for, curiosity won out. He peeked around the room in slight worry as he pulled it off the tray. He had reasoned out that they at least watched him sometimes, otherwise how could they punish him when he was late to duel in the morning? 

When waiting a moment did not present any clues, he proceeded to open the thin first page. A word popped into his mind as he did so, magazine? It seemed familiar but he wasn’t really sure where it had come from. A small piece of paper was tucked into the middle crevice so it would not fall out. The brief overview was that they were giving him the choice to choose the type of clothing he wanted from now on. Yusaku had to resist the urge to make an incredulous sound in the silence. Why would he care about the type of shirt they give him? A sudden thought hit him and he refused to curb his smile. A long-sleeve shirt would be more than welcome if they decided to try the cold punishments again with him. Encouraged by his plan, Yusaku peeked through and chose a few things for the first time he could remember. Going through, all he saw were pictures of the front and back of clothing articles. This being the first time to choose something for himself in the miserable place left him a little elated through the following duel to collect his prizes.

Unfortunately the feeling didn’t last as long as anybody would have liked.

 

~ = ~

 

A month after Yusaku turned nine he was so depressed that they had to drug him for a week while they figured out what to do with him. He had stopped doing much more than surviving and only dueling twice a day to avoid them punishing him. They probably wouldn’t have cared if he hadn’t taken to talking about growing wings and flying away in the bathroom mirror.  While Yusaku had no knowledge of it, the project had been suffering from other children having similar issues. And though he was mostly winning every time nowadays the project was running out of worthwhile data from mere duel puzzles and synthetic games. Not to mention the effect of the children’s breakdowns seemed to slowly have been creeping into their gameplay. The contaminated data had to be trashed and the whole project leadership had been in an uproar.

For this reason Yusaku was reintroduced to human contact. What people sounded like, what they normally did everyday, at least - a heavily edited version of it. For thirty minutes, once a week they allowed him to speak to another human. That was how he met a woman named Ghost. 

On the first day of their meeting, Yusaku was drowsy, just coming off drugs and still not coping well with realizing he had been under the influence. They had left him in his room again, leaving him with his own jumble of shitty feelings to float around in his head.

“Hello? Is this Yu… Yusaku Fujiki?” The voice was barely laced with static and definitely real. Under other circumstances maybe it would have been different but it wasn’t. Yusaku’s muscles seized up and his breath left in such a way that he might have thought he was punched in the diaphragm. The last time he heard a voice it had been his savior and his tormentor all at once. He had already been feeling confused and this wasn’t helping in the least. But a part of him has the check if the voice is not some side effect of the drugs leaving his system.

“Are you real?” The silence permeated the room once more leaving him uncomfortable. It hurt his throat and came out as raspy and a bit off. Leave it to Yusaku to forget to use his voice for much more than stating his duel conditions. Just as Yusaku was about to give up on the notion that he wasn’t hallucinating again, the sound of a deep breath filled the room.

“Wow, they really did a number on you kiddo…” Yusaku didn’t know what it was, but he was moving again, and angry. The drugs, while they made things dull and airy, his anger was nothing less than hot and sharp. The last voice had been so sweet and perfect to sooth him when he had been feeling hopeless. This one only served to bring up all the hate and despair that had surfaced when he found out he was betrayed.

“Really observant there,” he snarked before really thinking about it, still rough but getting better - might have been a touch of the sedative showing through on the long word. Logically it was not the same voice, didn’t even sound like the same gender but he could care less right now.

“Hahaha! They weren’t kidding. Anyway, I’m known as Ghost Girl, but you can just call me Ghost. I have been told to chat with you in an effort to make friends. You up for that?” The voice was straightforward, and more than likely older than himself. Picking himself off the floor, Yusaku pulled back the chair at his small table and took a seat before leaning into the edge and reaching out to rub the plastic plant’s leaves. “I’ll take that as a no, but for the next...” A pause made him lift his eyes, “23 minutes you are all I have to focus on. So anything you want to talk about, or should I pretend we had a great time when I leave?” 

Leave? Well that settled just about everything he wanted to say, no point in making an effort if it would just disappear like last time. Except two things really bothered him, and was ignoring them or finally getting more possible information going to be worth the heartache? “Why are you here and talking to me?”

“Finally some progress. Well I’m here because I’m being paid for it. As for why I’m talking to you? Luck of the draw I suppose? Anyway, for the foreseeable future you and me are going to chat once a week. So, nice to meet you I guess.

“Draw? Is there-”

“Nope,” the voice interrupts. “I’m going to tell you about my day like the leaflet suggests, so listen closely.”

This was how the first few sessions repeated, with lessons of general knowledge sprinkled in through their chats. Through time Yusaku grudgingly began to look forward to the never gentle, but also never lying words. Once or twice he even shared his desire to speak more with Ghost about the outside world. It was through her that Yusaku learned about computers, and if he was really quiet every once in a while she would slip into talking about the work she did as a hacker. Things Hanoi would never approve of him knowing but drove his love for the knowledge about a device he had little hope to obtain. He didn’t hear from her again for two weeks the one time she realized what had happened. The young boy began to guess she was hired to keep him motivated into dueling (and staying alive). He would have been right.

In fact he started to excel so much that they allowed him and a few others to start dueling on a beta server that belonged to SOL technologies. Real people from the outside were also trying it out. Turns out it provided a challenge only as long as it had taken Yusaku to assume that the syntactic system he had been dueling got a questionable algorithm update. That the system would no longer would always make the absolute best move in every situation. Yusaku assumed it was training to be more flexible against opponents, not real people. He unfortunately never figured it out.

 

~ = ~

 

Over time Yusaku had come to love Ghost, and it had started when he heard the words, ‘Happy Birthday Yusaku.’  Sure he had grown to like her over time because while she wasn’t always kind, she was the only relatively constant pleasure in his life. However upon hearing those words, it had bloomed into love. He didn’t want to date her, barely even understood the concept when she talked about it to him, but he loved her all the same. She never lied about coming back, never told him that someone was going to save him, and while she usually didn’t want to hear about what was happening to him, she never hurt him.

So when Ghost had shown up and Yusaku was still groggy and a little stiff from the cold shower he had snatched before passing out, it was understandable that he didn’t respond immediately. After all, the dueling had been rough and the punishment for the loss more harsh than usual. The shocks now a days at lower voltage so as not to damage him, but causing them to last longer in the process. This partially why he was so slow at responding when she had said the words, the other was obviously a feeling of surprise. 

“Happy Birthday Yusaku, finally into double digits huh? Now normally I wouldn’t bother to sing it but just this once I’ll make an exception, okay?”

Yusaku was finally ten and for the first time in his life, he could remember someone singing happy birthday to him. It had been a bittersweet and perfect visit in which he never said a word, but cherished every one she spoke.

-

Yusaku was lounging in his bed staring at the goggles again. Project Hanoi was the whole reason he had been taken, and he didn’t know a single thing about it. Was he alone? Others? Would he spend the rest of his life living in the same four walls? He usually tried not to dwell on the project with how much sadness it left in its wake. Did he want to accomplish their goal of being the best duelist? What could be so great about that? So great, that they would kidnap children and leave them in a room for eternity?

Yusaku rolled over as he sighed. He tried to picture a memory. A blue sky above him, brown like his table beneath his feet as he held onto two hands. The air would smell of plants and flowers. A sound he couldn’t remember coming from the sky as birds flew over his head with nothing holding them back. A mouth moving but no sound coming out to his left. The rumble of pleased laughter passing through his own. And warmth where he connected his hands to theirs. It would be hot, like the shower maybe? Perhaps more like the heat of being curled up under the heaviest blanket when they blew the air too cold? But as he turned to look when they were walking it was all blank, a white too much like the tile in the bathroom. Yusaku gave up and rolled over once more to sit up. He might as well get the second duel out of the way today.

But as he strode over to sit in the chair and pulled on the gear, his thoughts wandered back the dullness of the memory.

**-**

It was exciting and new when he came back to himself. A feeling welled up in his chest that felt like pleased delight and confusion all in one. The duel had been harder than usual, but entertaining in a way that should have made him stressed but excited him instead. So there was a new improved ‘Trickstar’ simulator?

 

~ = ~

 

At eleven Yusaku dragged himself onto the bed. Rows of rough, and dug-out tally marks on the wall caught his attention. His first thought was wondering why he stopped at the 400th. At 400 days he figured it would have been a habit by then. His last was so long ago that he doesn’t remember what happened that made him stop, just that his body tensed too much for comfort anytime he got an urge to ask for a way to track time. He leaned back and winced as his left foot jerked in pain from accidentally smacking the chair leg after being shocked. Yusaku didn’t know whether to laugh or cry - but he feels like he shouldn’t cry anymore; he has done enough of it to last he a lifetime by now as far as he is concerned.

When Ghost visited Yusaku this time he was excited. He really tried not to talk all that much about himself because of how much it seemed to upset Ghost, but this time he thought she would be pleased. He knew that she was supposed to encourage him to keep dueling and do his best, and seeing how it had to do with dueling he had high hopes.

“Hello Yusaku. Are you winning your duels?” She asked it every time she arrived, but the tone led him to believe that she has very little interest in the subject itself. 

His voice was unusually perky when he replied, “Yes, in fact I have a new favorite simulator! I was kinda surprised at first and it seems to be totally random when it pops up when free dueling, but the deck is well tuned and the choices leave me lagging behind every once in a while!” There was a pause as if she hadn’t expected to hear such a thing, and given that he usually showed barely enough interest about duels himself, he wasn’t all that surprised.

“I see…so are you enjoying dueling now?” Yusaku had to pause at the reluctance and sadness he thought he could hear in Ghost’s voice. His thoughts stumbled and barely caught themselves.

“I mean… I guess? Sometimes when it’s really close it does an awesome move and I have to think really quickly about what to do or I would definitely lose! None of the other ‘Trickstar’ decks are quite as good, so I never know going in which makes it kind of exciting!” He realized with a start that his tone had picked up stream as he puffed for breath. “Maybe just against that one deck? I thought you would like that?” It was quiet again as Ghost says nothing and Yusaku doesn’t want to say another word. He mostly wishes he could take back the ones he already said. He knows she gets sad and withdrawn when talks about himself but this was just awful.

“Yusaku… I… This is just so unlike you. But you have changed a lot over the time I have know you, I suppose. This per-simulator, when did it pop up?”

Yusaku couldn’t pin the tone in her voice but he was guessing sad and scared were a part of it. He didn’t understand in the least, but she hadn’t lied to him so he would not lie to her. “ I guess…” He had to think about how many times she has visited to give himself a timeline. “Maybe four months ago?” The intake of breath is what set him off that something was wrong. He still didn’t understand but she hadn’t ever shown interest like this before so he volunteered some of the cards the deck held in which amounts, hoping that would please her. It only made it worse when she stifled something in the mic.

“That is so messed up…” her voice sounded keening and regretful, but it only served to make Yusaku angry. He was stunned for a moment before words clawed their way out of his chest.

“How! It is so lonely and empty in here! Why can’t I have something that I like? What is so wrong about that? Even if I lose and get shocked I wouldn’t regret it when I get to play that deck!” He heard crying and momentary yelling before the mic went out. And that was how he felt, like drawing on every tear in his body and letting them drown him. He upset Ghost when he was trying so hard to please her. But it was anger that won out in the end; Yusaku had tried to satisfy her and she’d only decided he was pitiful and messed up.

The next day he ended up shouting and begging for Ghost to come back, that he would drop that simulator if she would just talk to him again. He waited all week and ended up alone and depressed when she didn’t return. For three weeks, all he could think about on days they usually met was how much he regretted saying a single word that day. On the fourth the robotic voice finally said something when he was feeling desolate lying in bed.

“Ghost is officially not coming back.” There were no emotion from the voice and none filled Yusaku’s own heart as he shut his eyes and cried. He got the feeling that she wished she had never meet him. He had loved her and lost her just as quickly. He tried not to be angry, told himself it was something out of his control. That he shouldn’t hate that ‘Trickstar’ simulator for all that he once cared for it. The broken chair on the floor the next morning did nothing to absolve his anger and resentment. Just like that other voice she had left. Even though she was his first love, he couldn’t help but return the sentiment of wishing he had never met her either.


	3. Chapter Two

By the time Yusaku was thirteen he’d told himself a million times to stop keeping track. That It wouldn’t matter in the least if he got another year older. That nothing was ever going to change and he would never escape this place at the rate things had been going. Besides, even if he did, Yusaku figured that he wouldn’t really have any clue how to speak to people that had once given him things without asking him to duel in exchange. 

He hadn’t had nightmares in long time- and while he liked to joke to himself that it was only because he was living in one instead- it only made living slightly more bearable. He generally went about his days with as little reminiscing as possible, it only left him depressed. In fact the only big positive in his life, and only bonus to Ghost abandoning him, was that his food trays sometimes included books after the incident. Yusaku hated to admit it, but after only having small cards of text to read for as long as he could remember, a book had given him some trouble. It didn’t take him long to adjust, he was clever - could probably hack an entire system in less than a hour if given the chance.

He began to make sure to use his voice enough too, so that it didn’t deteriorate like it had before he turned nine. He read to Sprout in his free time - the plant, because really what else would he call the thing? It was actually during one of those moments that he got an unexpected announcement and he would continue to deny it to his last breath, but he had almost stumbled onto his knees trying to stand up so quickly.

“Yusaku Fujiki, congratulations! As of this morning phase two has initiated!” The tone, even warped, conveyed sarcastic excitement at the joke made at Yusaku’s expense. A small manila package dropped down from the hole the food usually came from. “For the next part of the project, well, we think you will like it! Meet your new friend! But in return, a third mandatory duel once a day will begin tomorrow. We'll let you know when you need to log in.” There was a tone of laughter that cut away as the voice disappeared. This did nothing to reassure the frightened teen. Yusaku even imagined that the chills from the awful laugh would stick with him for a while. 

But what concerned him the most was the intruding file that lay innocently at his feet. His heart pounded in his chest, and there was blood rushing through his ears. The small file seemed to turn infinitely more foreboding as he stared at it. Yusaku thought maybe he was going to die now after all. What with the overwhelming feeling crashing over him. Was he going to have to deal with this faintness every time something new came into his life? For his own sake he really hoped not because now his breath was getting short and distant pain and forgotten anger were resurfacing. He couldn’t - wouldn’t be able to deal with another Ghost again. Probably wouldn’t even be able to breath in a few moments if his chest wouldn’t stop moving so quickly. 

‘But maybe it won’t be another Ghost’, this was the only thought that kept him from turning around to throw up. ‘Maybe it wasn’t someone who was going to waltz into his life and spin him around until he lost track of himself.’ He couldn’t resist the need to wrap his arms around himself and bent down and curled up. Maybe it would be like all those people he couldn’t forget about and had cause him so much grief, but he had to take the chance. 

Glaring at the horrible thing that threatened him, he straightened his fingers and red nails that would now slot into his wounds like a puzzle. He had not even realized that he had been digging them into his upper arms. Ignoring his pain and locked up fingers Yusaku refocused on his problem. He really didn’t want to touch the file from fear and wanted all the more to rip it open in a need to understand everything that happened to him. He couldn’t recall why, but the desire to list three reasons was strong. Three reasons why he loved and hated the package at his feet.

One. The file was probably something that would majorly impact his life in the very near future.

Two. While it could be from Ghost or someone like her, the voice had said it was a friend. The world triggered so much hope and desolation in himself, so why did he want one of those so badly? It was such a foreign concept to someone who couldn’t remember having one.

Three. If he refused to look at the offending item he would be going in blind into the next day’s duel. He couldn’t really afford to be scrambling with a likely very important duel on the line.

Yusaku ran his right hand along the flat surface before he slowly lifted it to be inspected for an opening. He unwound some yarn on the bottom side which made the content descend to the ground. Looking at the floor Yusaku was surprised, there was only one white sheet sitting upside down. He closed his eyes and breathed. No matter what he felt like, Yusau knew that he didn’t really have a choice. He had already reasoned out why he needed to see the paper, so there was no use waiting any longer. Pinching the end of the paper he turned it over and opened his eyes once more. 

The first words looked upon by a set of bright green eyes were bolded letters proclaiming ‘HANOI PROJECT’. This title was the whole reason he suffered in misery. The whole reason Yusaku had been taken from gentle touches and freedom. An ache of longing pulsed through his body. He would never get the chance to love those whom had given him everything. Instead he had given it away to the women who wouldn’t return it with anything but burnt anguish as she disappeared. Yusaku felt phantom tears well up and refused to think about her. Now wasn’t the time to dwell on his heart aches, he needed to deal with one problem at a time. Nodding to himself, Yusaku finally peeled his eyes away from the title that it struck him and gazed at the paper itself. To his surprise he recognized it to be an informational sheet.

 

Name: Jin Kusanagi

Age: 12

Subject No.11/21

 

Subject number? Wasn’t an eleven of twenty-one a...? What had Ghost called it again? A fraction? The realization was bittersweet like a candy that left too much sugar on his teeth. Twenty-one people were considered ‘Subjects’ in the project. He briefly wondered what his own number was before destroying the thought. He was no subject, just a teen captured as a child because somebody had chosen him. Yusaku really didn’t want to have to face such matters right now. Trembling hands shifted the paper as colour caught the corner of his eye. When had he started to shake again? He turned to look at the dully coloured, small square on the floor. Yusaku was confused for a few seconds before he recognized it.

Yusaku gasped as his pale hand released the paper and scrambled to pick up the picture, mouth tasting of copper as he bit into his tongue in his haste. It was a boy that looked distinctly different than himself. Yusaku’s chest twinged, he wanted so badly to cherish this photo of an extremely despondent, presumably 12-year-old Jin Kusanagi. Yusaku traced the face on the photo, his grey eyes and short purple hair that didn’t seem to want to lay flat. He was drawn back to the frown; had this boy ever smiled before? He looked so sad, much worse off than Yusaku had when he looked at himself in the mirror. Did he too have the blurry faces that made up shreds of his memories? Did he like dueling like Ghost or could he care less like himself? So many thoughts were spilling over that Yusaku felt exhausted. He packed everything up gently and set them on the table. With one last slide of his thumb over the first photo he owned, Yusaku settled for bed. Sleep was the last thing on his mind as he rested that evening.

The next day when Yusaku was told to log in he was nervous and doing his best to pretend he wasn’t excited. As he held the VR goggles in his hands, he once more dreaded the fact that he wasn’t the only person suffering from this crazy project. But he knew as he pulled them on all he could think of was winning until they come off.

-

Yusaku was tried and stressed when he finally pulled off the gazer only ten minutes later. He was worried about Kusanagi, and how quickly he had beaten him. The kid wasn’t bad, he just wasn’t as good as himself, and that didn’t bode well for him. Thinking back to the dullness that seemed to wash off his dueling in waves frightened Yusaku. That somebody could feel so dim just like he had one point. Yusaku set down the gazer in exchange for the photo of Jin when it occurred to him. The first person Yusaku could clearly say he could picture in his head and he was likely being hurt for losing because of Yusaku.

He hadn’t wanted to duel him, to make him hurt after finally having someone who could possibly understand him. Unfortunately he didn’t have a choice, and next week he knew it was going to happen all over again.

Yusaku wouldn’t lie, but he wouldn’t answer either if one asked why he was crying in the shower that night. After all, Yusaku had realized just how not alone he was to his experience anymore, even confined in his isolated world he considered hell.

-

The four weeks that followed were spent testing and learning  _ and winning _ almost every time. He began to love the duels against Jin Kusanagi. Yusaku hadn’t even gotten shocked the one time he lost. He couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of that day. It made him relieved that Jin likely hadn’t been hurt as well. Yusaku wished that he could speak to him, ask him anything and everything that popped into his mind. The euphoria was short lived.

On week four it  _ was _ Ghost all over again, but without the dramatics of somebody saying he would never duel him again. At first Yusaku was devastated, before it became clear that neither Jin nor himself really had a choice in the matter. Yusaku had been moody for a few hours when he got another package. He was especially surprised when another package arrived again in another few weeks. This was how Yusaku came to the conclusion that everyone was dueling against each other in rotations.

 

Name: Naegi Kiyumi

Age: 13

Subject No. 4/21

 

Name: Takeru Homura

Age: 13

Subject No. 5/21

 

Name: Kuno Eisuke

Age: 12

Subject No. 18/21

 

Name: Wakisaka Koei

Age: 15

Subject No. 2/21

 

And one day when Yusaku had expected another envelope to come through and it hadn't; he wasn’t sure what would happen. Instead he was left to stew all night with his questions ignored. The evening was spent wallowing in the shower until it was too cold to stand anymore. Yusaku only decided to leave the room when the fan had kicked up in an effort to run him out. He just couldn’t stand the chill after being subjected to such low temperatures growing up. Instead he quickly dressed and decided to curl up in his chair. Gazing at his green plant, Yusaku became lost in thoughts of a fantasy future with friends that he had made through dueling these last few months. Only finally did he drift to sleep a few hours later.

 

~ = ~

 

About a month after Yusaku’s fourteenth birthday he awoke to a loud beeping noise. A chill of cold air swept through his small room.  Yusaku threw off his covers and surveyed the area. Blood began to pump quickly through his veins when he saw a new opening in his wall. Suddenly Yusaku was freaking out, because that had never happened before and he wasn't sure what to do. Before he could work up the bravery to investigate the entrance, people were walking through it. Yusaku watched with shallow breaths as five different adults lineup before him. 

Yusaku’s lungs began to hurt at this point, so he forced himself to take a deep gulp of air as best he could to prevent passing out. He shuffled back as best he could to the headboard and clutched his pajama top like it was going to protect him from five people standing in what had been a non-existent opening his whole life. The people in front of the teen were blurring and it took a minute for Yusaku to realize tears were prickling in his eyes. He had thought he had done enough to harden his heart after Ghost and Jin, but apparently being confronted by real people for the first time he could remember voided any effort on his part.

His thoughts briefly flickered over the value of just giving up the fight for oxygen and allowing himself to pass out, but he couldn’t bring himself to allow himself to be drugged again. Certainly wasn’t going to give these people an opportunity to get away with doing anything to him of he could help it. Through it really wasn’t helping Yusaku that the people seemed to be staring at him while he was having a panic attack. Yusaku viewed them with narrowed eyes and consolidated his willpower. He couldn’t control that his arms were shaking, but he was determined to at least not be caught on the back foot. He pulled himself to the edge of the bed and pointedly stared them down. His voice cracked so badly that he had to swallow before trying again, and even then it weak and raspy at best.

“W-who ar-e you?” His breath had slipped in the middle of his word. Yusaku’s hand hurt to uncurl from his shirt but he forced it before steadying both palms against the mattress. He urged himself to slide off the bed and allowed his weight lean against it.

“Yusaku Fujiki, please step forward. You are being processed for phase two, part two of the Hanoi Project today. Everything will be provided where you are going, nothing is to come with you. Please get changed now, we are moving forward regardless of your state in three minutes.” The women who had spoken was a darker blond with a clipboard shielding her face from his view. However, even if he wanted to move his body wasn’t working, so Yusaku was still staring at them when the women lowered the obstacle to frown. To Yusaku these people were just so different; older, taller, gray hair or other colours, a firm liveliness wafting of each and every one. Yusaku wished he could take a few minutes just to trace their figures with his eyes just to make sure he would remember every detail. 

He didn’t have the time. He aborted a movement to turn around as his motor functions finally decided to come online. Having his back to these people when he couldn’t see them just made his stomach lurch. He didn’t understand the instinct, but refused to ignore good advice. Yusaku watched them carefully as he walked backwards. He knew his space well enough that he wouldn’t encounter any issues with backing into things.

Pulling out the second drawer, he watched the figures just as they watched his every move back. He was infinitely pleased that the top shirt was a clean white button up shirt, and unbuttoned his own pajamas quickly with ease. As he slid out of the cotton sleepwear, two of the scientists in the back began to converse. Yusaku wished he had a glare potent enough in his repertoire to shut them up; alas that was not the case, to his misfortune. With no time to spare, Yusaku bared with it by biting his cheek. He quickly exchanged his matching pants for a pair of black trousers. Complete with his only jacket thrown over, he went to step up to the strange people when old, matted fur caught his eye. 

 His old jacket was tucked under everything, only the rim of fur smashed against the side of the drawer. He remembered so clearly how, one day he had went to put it on after they dropped the temperature. It had barely fit at that point and he had felt so lost when it hit him how long it had been since he was free. He tried to recall its condition on the day he had gotten taken. One last memory that he wouldn’t forget to the blank space in his mind conquered with white walls.

A small area of crust on the elbow from leaning on something sticky. A rubbed spot in the pocket from constantly having something there. Weakly smelling of lavender, from when someone had helped him put it on. He had worn that jacket almost everyday since he had arrived until he no longer could. Yusaku reached out to touch the last piece of his childhood that had come with him.

“Time’s up. We are leaving now.” A gruff voice that spoke of cigarette usage startled Yusaku. He had momentarily forgot they were watching him closely. He knew he should follow them, if only to avoid whatever they would come up with to hurt him now that they were here in person.

He almost didn’t want to leave. Yusaku knew he should be running as far as he could from the place that only ever served to hurt him, but he no longer knew what was out there, anything beyond his room and dueling was foreign. His hesitation must have been expected, for within a minute two people stepped forward with sticks that sparked in warning.

Yusaku was moving before he allowed his feet to seize up. His body felt cold and his hands twitched from the close proximity to electricity. After years of being shocked, he was beyond familiar with the way his skin felt right before he was punished for losing. If he hadn’t forced himself, Yusaku was sure he would have frozen up and and incurred their wrath. Not even in his thoughts did Yusaku desire to tangle with pain so exposed to these people. These adults had probably watched him cry in agony for years without any remorse. When the two men dressed fully in black had turned around behind him, he couldn’t help but flinch. Thoughts like, ‘too exposed and those would likely leave burns behind’ flooded his brain. His breath felt to shallow and light as the blonde women stepped past the group. He could only beg in his head that they wouldn’t shove it into his back.

And walk they did, because for six minutes Yusaku observed dim, gray, and grated walls interspersed with large, white numbers as he followed the older women. He dearly wished he could voice his concerns, ask them why they were so cruel, had taken him from people who loved him. His voice seemed locked behind a vault, even as he felt the desire to dig for more information. The trek through the bare hallways was tense. Nobody spoke a word and Yusaku couldn’t get his back to stop its relentless twitching. Nonetheless, at the end of the fourth turn the group finally stopped at a door.

The women with the clipboard finally turned around and allowed Yusaku to see her face. She wore thick, bright, red glasses that blocked her eyes and looked gaudy against almost purple lipstick. Yusaku didn’t know much about colours, but he didn’t understand why she would chose such an awful pair to adorn herself with. Before she started speaking Yusaku wished he could ask his questions. Everything that had played like a record on repeat in his head since the day he woke up in the small room alone. Not a single sound spilled from his lips.

-

Instead it was the doorway beyond the woman that opened. The woman with red glasses looked back before speaking to another in the doorway, “He’s all yours.” She immediately walked past the woman standing in the threshold as if finally being rid of a particularly bad cold. The new woman had finely highlighted orange hair, that served to lighten up her grey eyes. 

“Reduced to this. Hurry along then, number 16.” Her voice started softly, before picking up a tone of authority. As she began to walk away Yusaku was forced to follow her at threat of the electric devices. It seemed the two men were acting as a deterrent from Yusaku running away. Just as Yusaku could hear the rest of the group dispersing behind, one of the men in a white coat spoke to the new women.

“Dr.Kyo-, I mean Dr.Baira, you have been assigned to take the subject to the room at the end of the testing as well.” The man then walked off, not waiting for any response. The woman looked annoyed as she turned away and spoke.

“Well, great. Anyway, let's go already.” 

Yusaku was upset, these people threatened him and treated him like a tool to be used. Clenching his fist to delay his angry, he finally could hold his words no longer. “Wh-”

There was a resounding smack of her hand hitting his skin and pain blossomed along his check. There was a stunned moment in which he hadn’t even realized that Dr.Baira had turned around to hit him. Tenderness blossomed out as he brought his hand out to his face. He had been tormented for years in all manner of ways, but not once had anyone been around to raise a hand to him. Momentarily not able to comprehend the situation, Yusaku only stared at the women as she spoke to him.

“I was instructed to not let you speak unless spoken too. That was a warning and if you try it again, well, that's why these men are here.” 

As much as it pained Yusaku to hold himself back from snarling at her, he resisted with some willpower. It was becoming only more prevalent that those electrified batons were a means to control his temperament. This was the first time he could remember being around people, and Yusaku could clearly determine that he hated it. Before he had felt a keen loss when he remembered nothing in his drugged up haze, but maybe it had been better that way after all. Yusaku gritted his teeth and nodded towards the woman whom held all the cards. Who was he kidding? These people had always held his life in their hands without regard or remorse. After glancing back Yusaku stepped forward and followed his attacker over to another man whom seem occupied with an elaborate console.

“Dr.Faust, I understand that you’re to help me take vitals before he goes to Dr. Genome.” 

The man had blue hair that boarded into purple hues with facial hair to match. As he turned to look at Dr. Baira, he sighed.

“Such a pity, I was just getting to the good part.” The man glanced around and waved over another person, “Take over, I have to deal with the next subject.” The new man nodded and took over the controls as the doctor stepped away. The man’s eyes were cold as they followed along to look at Yusaku. “Step right this way then.” 

Once more the group was moving forward. As they walked through a door that had been to their left originally, the male doctor gestured to a chair that sat in the middle of the room. The guards had come to stand on the inside parallel to the door on either side. Wary and stressed, Yusaku saw no choice but sit down and try to zone out. He cringed as the man tried to take his pulse. He could even say that he was proud of himself for handling things so beyond his typical measure when they pulled out the needle.

He couldn’t recall what it was, let alone remember seeing one, but his body twitched and locked up. He had the feeling that his body was more familiar with the utensil than his conscious mind. The man, Dr.Faust, smirked as he watched Yusaku flinch away from the tool he was using. 

“Seems you might know what this is?” Yusaku shook his head as he closely watched the way the man tapped the outer casing. “Figured you might with your previous track record with needles.” 

Yusaku paused but could not relax. The only other time… When they had drugged him! He was moving to get out of the chair before he had any second thoughts about facing the guards. What he did not expect were two arms shoving him back down and holding him still.

After much yelling and struggling the act was finally done. The male doctor walked away with the drawn blood and left him to slump in his chair in a cold sweat. He had gone through a lot of bad experiences in his life, but this one was sure to be stuck in his head for a while. Glancing over at Dr.Baira and the guards, it did not seem like they were in any rush to move him along this time. Yusaku watched as the women fiddled over on a screen for a while before he gave up on learning anything of use. He would not close his eyes, but he would take the moment they’d given him to rest. After a few minutes the women finally stood up and brushed down her coat as she turned around to face the teen.

“Let’s go now, Dr.Genome is ready to see you.” 

Yusaku struggled to his feet and used the arm of the chair as a prop to not fall. He felt deceived on his own behalf. He had wrongly assumed that such a kind-looking women wouldn’t be as cruel. If he had any energy left, he might have chastised himself for the blunder, but he didn’t. The women stared at Yusaku with an annoyed look on her face. Unfortunately for the youth, as soon as he stepped up behind her she once more moved on to the next location. He was surprised to find that the room that had once been mostly empty was now spotted with groups of older people working. He allowed himself to watch them as the group passed the area and walked into a door on the opposite end of the large space. A man, who Dr.Baira seemed intent on, paced restlessly in front of a doorway. .

“Dr.Genome,” She inclined her head. “ This is subject sixteen, he is here for you now. I’ll pick him up when you’re done with your testing.” 

The man didn’t bother to acknowledge her words but instead stared at Yusaku with disdain. “Well, suppose I should not have expected much.” Yusaku bit his tongue to prevent himself saying what he wanted to. In his weakened state he would not last long with the guards that stood ready right behind him. “Anyway, this will be a test of endurance, try not to disappoint me.” The man then burst out laughing and waved to the two men dressed in black and walked off. Yusaku was confused about almost being left alone until the door in front of him opened. 

“Move in, subject.” It was one of the guards. The men had been quiet the whole time they had accompanied him, so Yusaku was startled to hear one of them speak. He risked one more glance backwards, practically snarling at them before immediately moving into the opening. Yusaku sighed and finally sagged his shoulders once the door closed behind him. He took a deep breath before surveying the room he had been locked into. The walls were completely blank except for a string of vertical numbers along the four corners. The floor instead revealed another pair of seemingly innocent virtual reality duel goggles.

“Great,” Yusaku groaned; he had been dragged from one area to another just to duel again? As he walked over and bent down to pick up the augmented glasses, Yusaku froze. Were they just going to leave him alone in a room again for years after all that had just happened? His breath seized in his throat forcing Yusaku to cough. Bringing his hand to his mouth, Yusaku tried to stave off the feeling of sickness bubbling in his stomach. Would they really drag him away only to lock him back up in a new room all over again? The disdain and anger were content to boil inside him as he picked up the goggles to throw.

“Wonderful, I almost wondered if you would need to be put down for being useless.” Yusaku froze, curling his fingers for a better grip on the machine in his hand. That was the voice of the man who had just spoken to him outside of the room. “Put on the goggles already. You going to go through a series of endurance tests now.” Yusaku wondered if he should disobey, but he hadn’t in all of his years here, so what would be the point now? Convinced it was better to get the duels over with, Yusaku slowly lifted and placed the goggles on his head. When his vision shifted to a duel field, his chest finally relaxed from something familiar happening.

-

By the fifth duel in a row Yusaku was breathing heavy and wondering why they had changed their tactics in bringing him here.

-

On the ninth duel in a row Yusaku was in pain from the aftermath of being shocked and forced to continue on. Only thoughts of strategy and wondering when the test would finally end filled his mind.

-

Yusaku lost his fifthteenth duel and tried to scream as he crashed into the ground. The words ‘You Lose’ blaring across his screen hurt almost as much as his muscles seizing from the pain. His voice was raw from all the yelling and tears were leaking out of his eyes against his own will. His body hurt and shook as he cradled a sore wrist that he had fallen on wrong, and his breath was raspy as his lungs tried to fill with some air. He was never one to whine, but if bursts of air escaped his lips now he could do nothing to stop them. There was no way he would be able to stand up and continue dueling, he couldn’t help but dread what punishment would come for not finishing the test, but he didn’t think he would be able to win like this anyway. He waited, trying to stop himself from shaking on the ground. Yusaku dragged the goggles off and dumped them in front of himself. At this point he was willing to take any other pain to stop from being electrified again. Just when Yusaku thought he might have been forced to retake the mantle to continue his vision went hazy and he passed out.

 

~ = ~

 

Waking up in the same room was a relief and a sadness all at once. He hadn’t been dragged anywhere else, but he had once more been abandoned in a solitary room all over again. He tried to take stock of his injuries, but his whole body felt like it had turned into something mushy. Trying to move his wrist made him wince and his legs felt numb. He had been testing each limb as best he could when he finally got his arms to respond enough to push himself up. Feeling around his wrist showed some swelling. Yusaku had to laugh to himself; at least it hadn’t been broken. 

When the door swished open, he groaned as his body reflexively tried to move back from the danger. Standing in the threshold was the women with orange hair. He could see several other unfamiliar faces behind her too. Just how many people did this project employ? How could so many people not care about the pain the children had felt over all these years? Yusaku forced himself to focus on Dr.Baira when she began to speak.

“Time to get up, you’re going to your final destination now. Phase three will begin when you arrive.” 

Yusaku wanted to yell, could these people not leave him alone to his piece now that they had bothered him once? Pulling himself to his feet was no pretty affair, legs barely taking his weight. He fought to keep his balance with each step he was forced to take. As he crossed over slowly, he cursed his luck. Two men that looked like those he had sneered at earlier were waiting with batons behind the others. He would have to count his lucky stars if they were not the same people, not just with a weapon this time, but with a grudge too.

Walking seemed to loosen up Yusaku’s body as he followed the group along  again. He would have to remember not to act out against any of the staff again. While the men seemed to be different, he couldn’t take the chance again. The walk was as Yusaku had come to expect at this point. Totally silent, and with a fear of being randomly hurt for no reason. When they finally reached a door at the end of an unfamiliar hallway, Yusaku was thankful. He ached and wanted a moment of reprieve from the hellish day he had been forced to endure.

“Subject 16, you are to enter this door and proceed forward until you reach another one. The door will open and you to enter if you wish to escape punishment. You will go through the door one way or another so don’t bother sticking around.” The woman’s voice was cold, nothing like the light and warm orange her hair was. Looking at her seemed to have reminded her of something important as her face lit up. She motioned to an unfamiliar man and women whom had been waiting at the back of the line next to the guys that had electric batons.

The two stepped forward and the less interesting tan-haired women reached for his hand. Yusaku flinched and stepped back. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, give her your arm.” He didn’t want to, but given that there are still two men in black holding weapons there were not a lot of options. He gave up keeping his silence and struggled to find his voice again; finally, it worked. 

“What are you going to do?” The brown-haired women looked concerned for a minute at the raspy quality to his voice and seemed to be about to say something before the orange one interjected. 

“No questions, either you do it hassle free, or they,” she pointed to the men that Yusaku had been unquestionably aware of for the last few minutes, “Help you.” 

Not capable of dealing with any more electrical shocks today, Yusaku slowly raised his arm to the woman. She held onto it with light fingers and nodded her head to the man next to her. A black-haired man dusted with freckles reached into his bag and pulled out a watch of sorts, only the watch part had been replaced by a thick device with the number sixteen written in contrasting white letters. He slotted it onto Yusaku’s wrist and tugged it tight. Yusaku was only slightly grateful to the other women for holding his left hand still, otherwise he was pretty sure it would have been shaking like his right was doing. The woman sort of smiled for him before connecting a device that seemed to lock the bracelet in place. 

“All set now, miss.” The loss of contact as they both stepped back was a feeling of sadness and relief all at once.

Yusaku held the contraption up to his chest and pulled his elbow close. He rubbed as close to the new device as he could to alleviate the strange sensation. He turned to look at the orange woman again as she spoke up. 

“Good, now don’t bother trying to take it off. You can’t and you will only hurt yourself in the process. You are going in now.” 

He was about to take the moment he could to finally ask the big question in his head that he had thought about for years. Regrettably, at the look she gave him, and feeling of static coming close, he gave up any hope of forming the words he wished with all his heart would burst forth. 

As she stepped to the side and opened the door, Yusaku gave no fight, muscles too sore and a feeling of static crawling along his back. His only action was to take one last look at her face as he crossed into the slim, empty hallway. The next door was already in sight about twenty paces away.

Upon reaching the smooth door he waited with bated breath for it to open. The woman’s face hadn’t held even a spark of regret in the last moments. Yusaku glanced down at the big sixteen blaring up at him, and felt reduced to less than human.


	4. Chapter Three

Yusaku was surprised to find the door opening to be less of an ordeal than he had expected. No loud sounds or sudden movements, just a slow, smooth slide into the left side of the wall. Yusaku hadn’t really known what to expect when he had been suddenly taken from a room he had spent most of his life in. The dueling test? Sure, that wasn’t out of the realm of his thoughts. A seemingly large room with equipment to house up to eight people? Unfortunately, he could not say that had been one of them.

Gingerly, Yusaku wrapped his hand around the door frame to peer inside the area and peeked his head around the wall. Not seeing any danger, Yusaku stepped past the arch way. He tried to gather information about everything he could see as he continued farther into this unknown space. There were eight beds; a few of them had matching wooden boxes at the feet. Two doors opposite of the one Yusaku had just entered, and a medium sized table with six matching chairs to his left. There was something gray just barely peeking over one of the far beds. Yusaku cautiously stepped forward to investigate.

Each step made a small smack that reverberated as he finally got close enough to see - a person?!

A loud ‘clomp’ echoed as Yusaku took a step backwards. His pulse seemed to jump in an erratic unknown rhythm against his wishes. The person was hunched over in such a way that there were only two things visible. Feathered, spiky white and blue hair tucked into a baggy, gray jacket; and a black pair of shoes poked out from under the trim of said jacket. An aura of aggravation and desolation spilled off the character. Yusaku wondered about the merit of walking away and pretending he hadn’t seen him.

That plan was thoroughly burned to a crisp when startling dull, blue eyes looked up. Yusaku honestly hadn’t realized they even came in that colour. None of the people had seen so far even came close. Jin had a type of deep gray, and the people who had brought him here all had dim variations of any colour he had expected. He had honestly been surprised his own green was so bright and unusual when he had gazed at the people who worked in the lab.

Yusaku hadn’t realized he’d been staring right into the new boys eyes right up until the point in which a snapped “What?!” made him flinch.

“S-sorry.” He wished dearly that he could’ve had more confidence like he normally did in that moment, but he just wasn’t used to seeing someone right in front of him yet. Nervous and unsure but unable to stop the questions that flooded his mind. “Are you like me?” Yusaku couldn’t see a watch, but he also couldn’t see the boy’s hands either. He half wanted to beg that this person in front of him knew how much pain and sorrow filled this place, but the other half of him wouldn’t wish his fate on anybody. When Kogami turned away and Yusaku couldn't stand the thought of pressing his demands on him any long. Yusaku turned away in retreat, only jerked to a stop as a hand gripped his arm.

Yusaku couldn’t deal with that, he’d been electrocuted and touched by people who had hurt him for years all day. So it was really no question why his voice spilled out before any thought went into the matter.

“Stop! Let go! Let go!” Words hitched and a strange tingle of warmth had already spread against his skin. He tried to jerk his arm away. Why did people keep insisting on doing whatever they wanted with him today?!

“Calm down, you’re freaked out over nothing.” The boy’s voice was authoritative and had annoyance tied to every letter. Yusaku had wanted to point out how much of his own annoyance had been reserved for the stranger in that moment because this wouldn’t really be classified as ‘nothing’ to Yusaku. However, he refused to show any weakness to the person in front of him and tried to sill his trembling nonetheless. With the grip the boy was using, it wouldn’t have been like Yusaku could have escaped anyway. Yusaku watched as the mystery kid seemed to inspect the watch for some time until he finally spoke up. “You’re subject 16?” Only to finish the sentence in a quieter voice, “How unlucky.” Yusaku would agree that he hadn’t really ever felt lucky, beyond not starving to death in this place, but what was that supposed to mean?  
  
“Can you let go now?” Yusaku’s voice was poisoned with anger and hidden fright. Blue eyes lightened of grief once more meet Yusaku’s green. The grip was released with a snort as the boy spoke, “You might just last.” The words burned of a buried meaning as he paused. A look of final contemplation swept across his face. “Kogami Ryoken,” and before anything more could be said, Kogami had already walked away.

“What? What does that even mean?” A door farther along from their encounter was used as a barricade before Kogami even bothered to answer. Confused and exhausted, Yusaku shook his head. He didn’t know how to deal with everything that had happened today, and the unsettling words hadn’t helped him much. Yusaku wanted to give in and rest, but he couldn’t relax knowing that Kogami could come back any moment. He forced his feet to drag him to the door Kogami had disappeared into and tried to open it. Nothing happened and he couldn’t locate a knob, so he gave up and allowed himself to sit down on a bed far away from the two parallel doors. And if he found himself lying down, well, he could have swore he had told himself it would only be for a minute.

 

~ = ~

 

Yusaku was woken up to an itch that seemed to settle deep in his bones; a tumultuous stomach and a grogginess that fogged everything apparently fought to see which could disrupt him the most. Upon movement he clearly decided the loss of balance and muscles cramps won over any of the other competitors. Unfortunately for him the itch wasn’t one he could scratch, rather the type that would worm itself into your soul if not dealt with once discovered. After much deliberation Yusaku found himself vertical enough to handle the matter. A quick scan told Yusaku that his enigmatic roommate had made himself known again. The boy unabashedly continued to stare even after being sighted. Yusaku was about to seriously question the other boy’s methods when said teen beat him to it.

“Finally awake, huh? You ready for the big reveal now then?” His face said apathetic, but his voice screamed of muddled countless emotions. Yusaku’s heart felt trampled on. They had not been kind to each other, more confrontational than anything, but they both knew pain and that was enough for Yusaku to at least try to be amiable with him. Regardless that the boy seemed to have absolutely no concept of personal space! Something nagged at his mind as he contemplated what he had been told.

“Reveal?” Yusaku wasn’t sure what could said, but he was willing to place some serious bets that it wouldn’t be pleasant.

The smirk Kogami gave in return was a strange mix between ‘I know more than you’, and ‘I wish I didn’t have to say anything’. “Unfortunately, I’m supposed to give you the rundown of the third segment of the project.”

Yusaku felt his gut and anger swell up where he hadn’t felt it in so long. Rooted within all the times he had anguished about losing a loving family, and lamented about the bland white that covered his precious memories. “You work with them then? Those scientists?”

The fury that appeared on Kogami’s face was disconcerting to Yusaku. He knew nowhere that he could hide if Kogami decided that he hadn’t liked the way Yusaku had chosen his words. He tensed, prepared to defend himself if it came to that when his worries are banished. That he was disgusted and disturbed at the notion was written all over Kogami’s face, but it was only so reassuring to Yusaku who was now uncomfortable.

“Those bastards? No way. I just got the lucky part of playing messenger boy, so listen up sixteen.” Kogami could have been trying to just move on from his anger, but his voice was condescending.

“Sixteen? I’m only fif-” a sound of recognition. “my subject number? My name’s Yusaku, don’t use that.” Yusaku couldn't help that his own tone had been defensive in reaction.

The laugh that expelled from Kogami’s lips was startling and irritating all at once. Under different circumstances it would have been so airy and wonderful instead. A real laugh that would reverberate in his ears and wouldn’t be meant to shame him in any way. Yusaku was stunned that he wanted to hear more of it; Ghost had never laughed, and Yusaku so rarely felt the urge to do so himself.

The scowl that replaced it after a moment, left him perplexed. Kogami seemed to have a very wide range of emotions that he felt? It occurred to Yusaku that maybe all those years of Isolation growing up had stunned his ability to replicate that. He knew scared, knew angry and sad. Sometimes even happy or pleased but the quick emotional shifting was enough to give him some backlash.

“If you stick around maybe I’ll start calling you that, but for now you’re subject sixteen. Anyway, I need to give you the run down before they get annoyed. Listen up because it’s long and I’m only obligated to give it once.” Kogami leaned back on his arms and shot Yusaku a look that clearly asked for no disturbances on threats of death. A nod was given before Kogami spoke again.

“You’re not the first and we won’t be the last to be kept in this room. They just collected number 11 about two days ago, but I’m guessing he will be back. There are three doors in here, one that you came through, though everyone first comes through there. The one on the left over there,” He pointed to the room Yusaku had unsuccessfully investigated before. “That's the duel room. Only things in there are goggles that can’t leave the room. It will only open if there are two people waiting to go in. The door on the right is the bathroom, it doesn’t lock so you need to knock.”

It was pretty basic and Yusaku was thankful for the help but it wasn’t what he wanted to talk about. Yusaku was inhaling in preparation of speech when Kogami shot him a glare - he wasn’t finished.

“Last thing is these.” Kogami had risen his arm and had displayed his own watch bearing the number twenty-one. His face had morphed into an unsatisfied look, bordering on disgust. “These will shock you, without holding back. They don’t give a damn if we die now, they like to say only the best will get pass this stage.”

Yusaku really wanted to know, but also didn’t want to ask. How many? How many do you know about? His words must been written all over his face because Kogami was speaking before he had to.

“Five. The only one left is subject eleven that I told you about.”

Excitement and sorrow flooded him. “Eleven? Jin Kusunagi? He was here?” Yusaku kinda wanted to laugh all of a sudden too, because what kind of emotion was Kogami’s face suppose to convey looking like that?

“I guess? Anyway now that you know, you can leave me alone.” Kogami looked upset all over again and had allowed himself to fall to his back. Yusaku wanted to keep talking, he finally had the chance to look at another person and speak to them. But all Kogami was interested in was getting his ‘chore’ done with.

“Why did you have to tell me?”

The irritation was displayed so clearly that Yusaku unconsciously shifted back. Kogami simply raised his wrist and displayed his watch. “Electric, remember?” Yusaku was about to ask anything else he could think of when Kogami rolled over to ignore him. Grieving his loss of opportunity, Yusaku simply lay down and let his thoughts wander to what happened to Kusanagi.  
  


-

The next four days had been awkward, strange and a pitfall of tiptoeing around Kogami and wishing the boy was more friendly. The cherry on top had been Kogami ignoring Yusaku’s very existance after his explanation. That's why, come the fifth day it was like dropping a proverbial bomb when Kogami walked up to a resting Yusaku and asked to look at his watch again. As Yusaku opened his eyes he wanted to point out that Kogami himself had ignored every attempt he had made to talk, but he wasn’t feeling up to it. All of the upheaval and following exclusion had left him feeling depressed.

“...Okay, just don’t touch me.” Yusaku watched Kogami carefully as he brought his arm up for inspection.

Kogami’s face gave nothing away as he brought to fingers to the watch carefully and shifted it in different ways. It would have been obvious to Yusaku if he had the energy to notice, Kogami was respecting Yusaku’s request with focused diligence. “You and that kid, huh?”

Yusaku had pretty much come to the conclusion that he would never understand his fellow prisoner if he continued to speak without context. He felt confident that if presented with a duel he wouldn’t have any issues contriving a winning strategy. However, ask him to try and have a conversation with another human and he would be left fumbling to read between the lines. He couldn’t help but feel annoyed, no matter how little Kogami seemed to be trying to attack him, his words invariably struck something.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He dragged his arm back against his chest and frowned.

Kogami retracted his fingers and looked at Yusaku. “You and that Jin kid both have an aversion to touch.”

“Not like I have had a lot practice recently.” And okay, Yusaku hadn’t meant to snarl that quite so much, he was just frustrated. Nobody touched him; there was nobody around to even do so for most of his life. It couldn’t be his fault if he hated the foreign feeling, and if what Kogami had said was true, Kusanagi likely felt the same.

Kogami backed away and waved a hand over his retreating back. “Whatever, not my problem.” Yusaku sighed and rubbed his thumb along the watch edge. Finally, Kogami had spoken to him and he chased him away. And as Yusaku paused to think about it, maybe Kogami had a point. tHe should probably work at that whole ‘people’ thing.

 

~ = ~

 

Yusaku was forced to admit after days of combing through memories for the link to a familiar sensation that had settled over him upon his arrival, to no avail - left him in a foul mood. As a matter of fact, Yusaku was begrudgingly able to admit that just about everything was starting to irritate him.

Especially because Kogami was ignoring him, breathing too loud, moving in his sleep, generally being another human being in his space. They never even talked, which was part of the problem. He almost felt obligated to cringe at himself for such superfluous reasoning but he could tell himself that it was justified. Thrust into a situation that forced him to suddenly always be with another person would make anyone want some privacy.

In contradiction, if Yusaku had so much as even made an attempt to start a conversation he was glared at and Kogami usually left for the bathroom. But it wasn’t even the type of glare that stank of hatred, just the type that screamed discomfort with the situation. Yusaku thought he could at least have dealt with Kogami hating him, but that didn’t seem to be the case.

To make matters worse it was coming to his attention that almost everything he had tried to hold onto in his memories had turned out to have been replaced with splotchy, white holes instead. Which in turn circled back around to his awful mood.

It seemed like he was certainly doomed.

-

  
He came out of the bathroom, showered and trying to settle his aggravation when Kogami finally decided to talk to him. “Seems like you haven’t gotten shocked or lost you mind yet. So, Sixteen, what did you say your name was?”

Yusaku was pissed. For days he had made an effort to talk with the other teen and he just expected him to want to chat now? The usually calm and collected Yusaku felt anger curl around him before he could stop it. “What? You’re bored and now I’m worth talking too? Screw off, bathroom is free.”

Kogami raised an eyebrow and Yusaku didn’t get what his deal was when he actually smirked. “Touch a nerve did I? Let's make a deal then, we duel and if you lose your going to spill your name and drop the attitude you seemed to have picked up. Like it or not we are stuck together until they get bored of this project.”

Angry and just a little delighted to destroy Kogami in a duel, Yusaku laughed. “Sure, we’ll duel and then you can stop being such a jerk for no reason. Saying we are the only ones each other have right now and being an asshole don’t really mix.”

What was that expression that Ghost had once used? Like being hit by a bus? Yusaku couldn’t verify it, but he’d go with it being like an ace monster making a direct attack on the first turn. Impossible, overwhelming and painful all at once.

Yusaku realized he was so unsettled because he hadn’t dueled in days.

He had thought he didn’t care about dueling, even hated it. Dueling was something that while interesting, wasn’t something he had devoted himself to as a child. Dueling after he came to the project was sometimes even painful and so rarely pleasant. It had been forced onto him, with battles for survival happening everyday…so why? Why did he feel like something has been gouged out of his chest?

He didn’t get the chance to figure it out because Kogami was looking at him funny, waiting at the dueling door. Yusaku numbed every issue on hand as he walked over to Kogami. He had a duel to win.

-

Yusaku followed Kogami into the at first glance practically bleached room. Kogami veered off to a wall lined with cubes with numbers on them, but Yusaku’s eyes followed the string of numbers that lined each corner of the room instead. When Yusaku finally swiveled to meet Kogami he was startled momentarily. Large numbers were staring right at him and Kogami appeared invested inside the compartments that lined the walls. It was the first cube in the line but something was wrong with the two of the twenty-one written on it. Yusaku would almost say it looked like someone had come in later and messily scribbled it.

He realized that the numbers probably corresponded to their subject numbers. Taking a step backwards allowed Yusaku to see a twenty at the end of the line up. He tucked away the information that Kogami’s box hadn’t originally existed. Kogami’s voice drifted over to him as he contemplated what the situation meant. He looked over and watched the boy slide a machine onto his arm.

“These are marked with our numbers,” Kogami inclined his head farther where the other compartments were. “Just place your bracelet against the number and the door will unlock.” Yusaku nodded and turned away to find his own when Kogami turned back to his cubicle. He raised his own watch as Kogami explained and tapped it to the prominently placed sixteen. A low toned click went off and the door popped open. Yusaku had to step back to allow space for the hatchway to expose its treasures.

What lay inside Yusaku would indeed later describe as treasures, but for now he would be excited to have something of his own again. An almost matching machine to the one Kogami had pulled on and a crisp, printed, touchable deck. Yusaku had played duel monsters almost every day of his life and hadn't held a card in nine years. Hadn’t even seen cards he could physically hold expect for the few memories he had of having a duel with a childhood friends whose faces he no longer could recall. As Yusaku carefully cradled them in hand he read the top card’s print. ‘Decode Talker’; he had a new deck that apparently had been saved for him.

“You ready yet? Not going back on your word, right?” Kogami was behind him, expression repressed excitement and neutral boredom.

Yusaku smirked, “Wouldn’t dream of it.” Yusaku looked back and grabbed his own machine, rotating it in hand to inspect. “You put the cards in here right? Place them here and discard here right?” Kogami nodded and turned to walk away seeing that Yusaku wouldn’t have any issues using the duel disk. Yusaku hurried to attach the disk and settle across from his opponent. Yusaku quickly, but carefully read each card as he loaded his desk for the first time. It may have been the first time with his new deck, but a smirk adorned his face. He had a great feeling that he could beat Kogami. Glances were exchanged and he felt the words spring forth instinctively, and was pleased to hear them in turn.

“Duel!”

-

Wonderful, exciting, worthy of repeating. These were all feelings Yusaku would admit having to nobody but himself. Dueling Kogami had been amazing. Every step of the way the two had pushed each other and it had felt good. Yusaku firmly settled on keeping a blank face and looked over to gauge Kogami’s own expression. A mixture of annoyed and pleased for only a second, until it turned into a smirk, a look of expectancy within his eyes.

“It’s Yusaku, not sixteen.” Kogami just laughed and went to put away his gear. Yusaku didn’t expect to ever hear the crude nickname again.

 

~ = ~

 

Yusaku was bored, more so now that he had no books and no duels scheduled. A lack of entertaining stimuli led him to keep an eye on Kogami, who seemed invested in his watch again.

“Hey Kogami?”

“What?”

“Why did you suddenly decide to talk with me yesterday?” Kogami looked over his shoulder briefly before he continued his work, a debate on whether to tell the teen the truth hidden in his frown. When Yusaku seemed to have given up, Kogami finally spoke.

“You lasted for a week, so I figured you wouldn’t do something stupid to get yourself killed now.” Yusaku dragged himself up from the bed, surprised that Kogami was willing sharing information.

“That's what all that was all about? You thought I might disappear so you didn’t want to talk with me?” Kogami dropped his arm down and leaned back in the support of the chair he had claimed.

“You just don’t get it. I told you, you’re not the first one to come here, look around.” A dimness not so unfamiliar settled in Kogami’s eyes. “Yusaku,” his pitch turned wispy, like he was somewhere else but the small room the two shared. “I watched them all die or leave one after another. I had no proof you wouldn’t end up the same way. So yeah, I didn’t bother to learn your name until now.” He blankly gazed at the lights overhead. “I’m not even sure subject eleven will come back.”

His name died on Yusuku’s tongue as he watched the boy slowly come back to himself. Yusaku looked down at his fingers, rubbing a small patch of sheet warm. A thoughtfulness pulled at him as his body slouched. “You said Jin was taken. Do you think they are testing him?”

Kogami’s sharpened features looked up at that. He stood and turned to face the other boy. “You know about that? You were already tested before you came here?” His now brightened eyes watched closely, as if looking for something he had missed before. Yusaku’s own face clouded in confusion as he leaned forward to drop his own feet to the ground.

“Yeah…you mean the others weren’t? It was awful but not something…” Words melted as Yusaku felt phantom sensations of the pain he had felt about a week ago. He couldn’t be sure of that. The continuous shocks had left him in pretty bad condition so maybe others wouldn’t have been able to handle that? Had they lain on the same floor he had gasping for their last breaths? Coldness flushed through his body, those people- He tried to drag his mind away from that darkness. “Could you tell me about Jin? About subject eleven?”

Kogami took the chance to also redirect his own spiraling thoughts. He would have time to mull over them later. His body relaxed and leaned against the table to his back. “Why are you so interested in eleven? You know him or something?”

Yusaku nodded in conformation before he spoke, “Yeah, he was the only one I got to see a picture of when we dueled for weeks at a time.” Yusaku thought back the picture he had lost when he was taken from his room.

“Well, there are three reasons you should-” Kogami’s voice locked up and the grimace on his face told everything. Regret at his habit, and annoyance at himself for letting it slip.

Not a sound reached Yusaku. The world seemed to tilt and a sudden pounding in his ears replaced everything.

The word was sharp and pained when it slipped out of Yusaku.

“What?” There was echoed sound produced from feet hitting the floor in the tense lull. Kogami did not bother trying to cover his words, only standing in reaction to Yusaku’s sudden movements. Tone dull and dark as his eyes flashed, “It was you?”

Kogami’s face darkened as he raised himself in defense to the sudden aggression.

Before either knew it they were on the floor and scuffling.  
Yusaku’s fist stung as he threw a punch at Kogami’s guard.  
Kogami’s knee landed in an unprotected side.  
The bang of the chair toppling.

“I trusted you!”  
“It's not my fault. Don't act like a child!”  
“A child?! I haven’t been one in years!”

There were copper patches littered over the floor and swollen bruises on pale skin.  
A heavy weight as Kogami pushed everything he could into holding Yusaku down.  
Balance shifting as the two rolled over.  
A groan slipped from a pair of cut lips.

“You gave me hope and crushed it!”  
“I gave you a rescue and paid the price for it!”

Kogami threw Yusaku off himself and wiped red knuckles against a swollen cheek as he stood.   
Yusaku cradled his left elbow and rose to his full height as he watched with anger in his face.  
Kogami’s back slammed into the wall as the two traded hits.  
Yusaku fell into a bed’s foot when Kogami’s knee met his thigh.  
A screech as the bed shifted against the cool floor.  
Kogami leaned against the wall in support before he slid down with a pained hiss.

Kogami glared and braced an right arm against his chest to cup his left shoulder.  
“Why do you think I’m in here instead of free? You think I want this?”

Yusaku winced as his side flared up with pain.   
“Then why? Why did rescue never come?”   
Steady tears intermingled with the blood from his busted lip.

There was a groan as Kogami grit his teeth and tried to push his shoulder back into place. “They found out. I don’t know how they did, but I was taken and thrown into this room for years.” The broken exhale of Kogami’s breath giving away his pain. “Damn, you don’t hold back.”

“They trapped you in here?” Yusaku watched as Kogami ran his working hands fingers along rapidly swollen flesh peaking out of his shirt collar. “Do you…”

“Just get over here and help, if you don’t want any of those creeps in here.” Kogami still looked angry as he surveyed matching mottled skin. Yusaku nodded, grit his teeth and forced himself to ignore his banged up side as he crawled over. Kogami watched without delight at the less than coordinated movements. “I’m going to regret this. Look you need to shift it like this okay?”

Yusaku nodded as he raised his own pained body into position. “Ready?”

“Just do it.”

There was a pained grunt and a popping sound as Yusaku let go and leaned against the smooth surface of the blank wall. His voice was low and understanding. “I’m sorry…”

Kogami glanced at the hurt teen and grunted, “Save it. I was just tired of hearing the screams.”

Yusaku’s laugh was sad but true. “Yeah, I’m sure you were.” His breath was painful as the two mutually agreed to rest in the aftermath of their fight. Just this once, because he thought he understood the pain Kogami would have been in, Yusaku decided to forgive him - but only to himself.

What he didn’t know was that something had been planted. An overgrown resentment formed all those years ago shriveled. And in its place, buried far beneath, a small understanding from loneliness and uncertainty that had bred within him for years germinated. It would be a long road until the two would understand each other but every blossom began as a seed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be sure to check out the Chapter connected one-shot! { A good Morning to You }
> 
> It will be some time until all of our characters can be happy, but we will get there! Some cuddle piles coming in the near future? Maybe~
> 
> And as always, thanks for all the support!


End file.
